Altruism

A college essay: My best quality is my altruistic personality and predisposition to help those around me.

I have no doubt in my mind that if humans were truly given a role in life, my role would be to help and support others. I know this because the wellbeing of others has tended to be both my greatest driver, and occasionally my greatest pitfall. 

I say this on the night that the Common Application early decision/action deadline is due, and my peers are flooding my inbox with requests for edits on their essays ranging from huge content overhauls to just giving it another once over. I do not mind, in fact, I find the editing process soothing, and editing would probably be my sub-purpose in life if I could choose one. But still I feel nagged, I sit here staring at my screen for hours of my own time, being rushed on by Tommy and Susie so mommy or daddy can whip out their credit cards and punch in their info to the payment screen before they go to sleep. I do not work for mommy and daddy, and I do not work for Tommy and Susie.

The work I do tonight, I do because I want my peers to succeed. I do not work because I have to, and I do not ask you for anything in return. I would like to make this plain because it very much is not my job to fix your fragmented sentences and your non-italicized movie titles. You did not commission me, and you are not paying me; likewise, I do not owe you this work.

I understand you are all using me and pretending to be my friend because you think that’s what I want. Take my edits and leave me alone. Don’t pay me in compliments, I’d rather print your essay and shove it down my throat than listen to that.

At work, I am paid via direct deposit to deal with people like those whose essays I’m reading. Only, I am paid to use the cash register, help Darrel find the cooking dates, make pleasant conversation with 300lb Jennifer as she rants about the Cook County sugar tax being all about money and not about health, and be nice to Janet as she bitches on the phone to Marcy about why the cashier is talking to her when she’s clearly busy. However, I am not paid to clean up the broken glass of your red wine bottle as you thrust the gushing thing at me. I am not paid to confront the man with the hypodermic needles falling out of his pockets dumping trash into the parking lot and guzzling tequila. I am not paid to keep my temper down as middle-aged men call me sugar, honey, stroke my skin, grab my waist and treat me dumb.

This is why, when we are all finished in our transaction, I’d rather most people just leave. The only people I ever want to thank me are people I genuinely connect within my line, otherwise take your shit and go. My job is to be a means to an end, I understand that, but the general fake and rude attitude towards me is generally nauseating.

My goal in life is to become a doctor, so I know that I will be in the best position possible to help these people I can’t comprehend why I care about. That being said, I have no doubt that a white coat and stethoscope will not suddenly make me immune to the ungrateful, entitled nature of a large portion of the people I come into contact with. For every kind hearted and open minded person I’ve met, there is another who can’t seem to get out of their own heads and find a space for the words of others. Still, if you aren’t helping anyone, what’s the point?

Many of my relationships are predicated on what I can do for them. I can edit, provide an answer key, be dependable, explain everything from the contraction of the sarcomere to the obscure history of marriages. I don’t mind being a bot, but I don’t want to be treated like more than that if I am not more than that.

So my opinion on altruism? I will help anybody with anything if it’s in my power and morals to do so. Our relationship is not important. I want you to succeed and get on with life because everyone deserves help when they need it. But the truth is, I hate when people I only ever help think I’m suddenly obligated to them. And I hate it more when people I don’t have a genuine connection with fake it just to get that reward. Just treat me like a robot, take my help, and leave me alone.